Radio Podcast

Annihilate? No. No violence. I won’t stand for it. Not now, not ever, do you understand me?! I’m the Doctor, the Oncoming Storm – and you basically meant beat them in a football match, didn’t you?

No… It’s a thing; it’s like a plan, but with more greatness. I’m the Doctor. Well, they call me the Doctor. I don’t know why. I call me the Doctor too. I still don’t know why. Aw, you’re all Mr. Grumpy Face today.

It’s a fez. I wear a fez now. Fezes are cool. It’s art! A statement on modern society, ‘Oh Ain’t Modern Society Awful?’! Did I mention we have comfy chairs? No, I’ll fix it. I’m good at fixing rot. Call me the Rotmeister. No, I’m the Doctor. Don’t call me the Rotmeister.

I’m the Doctor, I’m worse than everyone’s aunt. *catches himself* And that is not how I’m introducing myself.

It’s a fez. I wear a fez now. Fezes are cool. It’s a fez. I wear a fez now. Fezes are cool. I’m the Doctor, I’m worse than everyone’s aunt. *catches himself* And that is not how I’m introducing myself.

Did I mention we have comfy chairs? You know when grown-ups tell you ‘everything’s going to be fine’ and you think they’re probably lying to make you feel better? I’m the Doctor. Well, they call me the Doctor. I don’t know why. I call me the Doctor too. I still don’t know why.

They’re not aliens, they’re Earth…liens! *Insistently* Bow ties are cool! Come on Amy, I’m a normal bloke, tell me what normal blokes do! They’re not aliens, they’re Earth…liens! I hate yogurt. It’s just stuff with bits in.

Did I mention we have comfy chairs? No, I’ll fix it. I’m good at fixing rot. Call me the Rotmeister. No, I’m the Doctor. Don’t call me the Rotmeister. I’m the Doctor. Well, they call me the Doctor. I don’t know why. I call me the Doctor too. I still don’t know why.